Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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You.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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