Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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here kitty kitty

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Obama.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

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56

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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