Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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ur gay

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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What's 9+10? 19.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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