Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

I'm Andrew Schmitt

Jokes Ki Duniya

why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

A man walks into a bar and gets drink

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...