Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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Poop

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops