Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

david poredos

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guess what. Chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops