What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock,knock you suck

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops