When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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a

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Womens rights

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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