Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

What color is red paint? Red

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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