Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

Racial equality.

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

23

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

If you were a cactus, why?

2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...