"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

23

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

If you were a cactus, why?

How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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