It got hit by a rocket.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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