What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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You have friends

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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