What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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