A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

your moms fat. she's ugly too.

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

your mommy so gehto shes black

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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