What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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to get to the other side.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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