How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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a

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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LIKE THIS!

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Invisible Television.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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