How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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