What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Homonyms should be band.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wright flyer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops