why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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