Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

thumb_up thumb_down -160

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

thumb_up thumb_down +51

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

thumb_up thumb_down +184

Got milk? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

20

thumb_up thumb_down +30

ey can i pick your scabs plzz

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops