Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops