What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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NAACP

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why do black people hate whites? their is no light in the ghetto

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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Mitt Romney

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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GONNA

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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