How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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PATHETIC

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Where is my tractor?

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops