Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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if you read this you are gay

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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