how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's 9+ 10?! 19

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What can make you pee? Liquid

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

thumb_up thumb_down -9

thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A women's opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

3.14159365358979323846264

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats black and red inside? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops