What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Apple juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -28

so the weather's nice...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

thumb_up thumb_down -28

your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops