What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

Racial equality.

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...