How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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