Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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