why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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So you there Red?

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops