What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

Har har hey

George Bush.

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

Justin Bieber

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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