whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Sonic

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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