What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

Cows are land manatees.

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

elen degeneres is straight....

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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