What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

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Hillary Clinton

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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