What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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anal seepage

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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