How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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