Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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