Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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Jews

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Colby Michael Schluter

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops