Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops