A seal walks into a club.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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