Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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im a dragon, no im not

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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