Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats funnier than 24, 69

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No thank you, I don't like violence

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -10

On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a frog?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops