What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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Hi

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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