I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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potatoes

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops