Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wigan.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

UNICORNZ R PURPUL

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats In My Trash? Bears

thumb_up thumb_down -27

10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops