A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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What did the African Man get in Africa Aids

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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How are cars made? By magic.

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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