Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Jimmy Saville

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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why did the man die? he was shot

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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