I pooped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blind man walks into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +2

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops