What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

What black and has children A black man

What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

knock, knock whos there child molestor

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

Im black

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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