A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

Why did the moron jump through the window?

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

Why is your face? Because.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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